After my son was born I found myself constantly telling people “we are so lucky, he is a very easy baby.” What I meant was that he didn’t have colic, slept well (after his nightly 2-hour screaming session), and he seemed to like us. I would say this because I felt like people wanted to know we were doing okay and as a people pleaser, I wanted to reassure them.
But inside, my heart broke a little each time I said those words “easy baby.” They would echo in my head and mock me: “if you’re struggling this much with an ‘easy’ baby, you could never handle another one. You must not be a very good mother.” The truth was, despite what I wanted everyone to think, we weren’t okay. We were surviving but I was really, really struggling and it had nothing to do with my son or how “easy” or “difficult” he was. It had to do with me. An “easy” baby doesn’t mean you won’t struggle and a “difficult” baby doesn’t mean you will because it’s not about the baby, it’s about the parent.
Are there any words that are a trigger for you?