A few days ago after seeing the #silverliningschallenge from What to Expect, I thought “ok easy, there are so many things I’m grateful for right now.” But the past few days have been some really tough ones. As my son becomes more and more toddler every day, it’s like living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. One minute he is walking around laughing and the next he is screaming with tears streaming down his face and nothing I do seems to calm him. It’s heartbreaking that I can’t soothe him like I wish I could and it’s impossible to get anything done for any other work. His needs are all-consuming.
But I realized yesterday as he screamed in my arms that the silver lining is simple: I’m here. I’m here to witness those giggles and I’m here to be present with him and hold him when he cries, even if it doesn’t make the tears stop. my postpartum depression made it difficult for me to bond with him during my maternity leave, so being here at home with him now almost feels like a second chance for that experience. When he switches from smiles to screams, I recognize that roller coaster of emotion because it’s so similar to how I was feeling just a short year ago. Truth be told, how I still feel some days now.
It’s hard to be here sometimes, but I’m so grateful that I am.
What is your silver lining during these difficult times of COVID-19 coronavirus? Tell me in the comments!